Credit Where Credit is Due

My husband is trying to take credit for teaching me the word “craptastic” like it is “his” word or something. Apparently he and his geek squad have been using it for years. He would take credit for the Declaration of Independence if it wasn’t signed. It is so annoying. Now he’s also all offended that I said I was Mrs. Nerd Hag, but I got him back because according to MSNBC.com, he is suffering from Irritable Male Syndrome. I would say the whole test was bullshit, but I live with him and the test kinda has a point. Besides, it makes me really happy to tease him about going through Male Menopause! I know, that’s mean, and I am screwed ’cause menopause will head my way someday (a long, long time from now)! Don’t you worry, I’ll get mine, but for now I’m gonna have some fun. On the flip side, I really can’t be too mean; after all, he is the one with the job.

I am headed to Bama next week, my nephew was finally released from the hospital, Weezie’s throwing a baby shower for her sister, and the Prattville Lions have their season opener in Wetumpka. If that wasn’t enough fun, my niece, Sr. Marie Therese, and some of the sisters from her convent in Portsmouth are going to be on “Life On The Rock” September 1st, and I am going to attend the taping. Don’t worry, I can watch my language and quit smoking when I have to. I will be perfectly respectable, just like Tommy Lee at college (well, almost).

Seriously, did you watch that show? It was sad, funny, pathetic and humbling all at the same time. I hate reality TV, but I have already watched Veronica Mars like a hundred times already, so I had to do something. Plus Tommy Lee is still kinda hot if you gave him a radiation shower and a flea dip. Speaking of which, you should see this dog on the news! It just won some ugliest dog contest out in California. I thought my drama teacher’s dog, Muffin, was hideous. WHOA! That reminds me, settle a bet; who gets credit for that phrase, Keanu Reeves or Joey (er Joseph) Lawrence?

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