Needs MORE Cowbell

Ok before I start, I have to go off the subject. I can’t help myself, I have to ask, what the hell is Pat Robertson smoking? Look, whether or not you agree with him and/or think he has a point, the man clearly smokes crack. Assassination is not exactly the most Christian of solutions. Even if he was right, going public with that sort of declaration just makes us all look like religious freaks. Thanks, Pat, this will really help America’s street cred with the rest of the world.

Now on to less weighty subjects, I have a confession to make. I might actually watch “My Name is Earl“. I know, let the tormenting begin. It is like I can’t help myself. I believe there is such a thing as so bad it’s good, and all signs indicate this could be a show that qualifies. I can’t be sure it applies here because I haven’t actually seen an episode, and NBC is circling the toilet these days, but I’m still willing to give it a shot.

Speaking of circling the toilet, last night as we were lying around having our usual late night conversation when we started talking about SNL’s fake commercials. The conversation really started because there are a few actual commercials airing these days that look like they are part of the act. Perhaps these unfortunate corporations should rethink the notion that it is a good idea to run them during shows with their own spoof ads. Anyway, we sat up trying to remember all the ads from years past. I think we decided our favorite was for “Swill”, Lake Erie’s finest in a bottle. That stuff was so disgusting, thick like glycerin and full of sediment (knowing Lake Erie, it was a fine mixture of excrement and trash). Then there was the sickest of all “The Love Toilet”; yeah, that is so never gonna happen-a romantic evening on a two seated crapper. I still like the one for the super absorbency tampon (sorry I can’t remember the fake name) that soaks up the entire swimming pool and leaves a poor kid with his floaties stranded at the bottom. Then there is the great “Colon Blow and New Super Colon Blow”, sick yet hilarious, much like “Cookie Dough Sport” and “Corn Chip Nail Tips”. I laugh just thinking about Tracy Morgan with those Fritos glued to his fingers. Can you imagine the germs on those things if you actually ate ‘em? Perhaps I am over thinking it a bit, but it would be incredibly convenient to have a snack for the ride home! Wait, I amend my previous statement I just thought of another even sicker ad, the one with the “Litter Critters”. Those kids eating litter box treats made my skin crawl. Who thinks up this shit? And will he share the good drugs with me?

Patron Saint of the cowbell

P. S. My road trip starts tomorrow, but I promise to post all the fascinating familial details as soon as I find a data port…Cheers

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