On The Edge Of A Broken Heart

Tonight, I sit on the threshold of disaster, bracing for a hurricane just days ago I had no idea would impact me. All the arguing and anger seem misplaced yet still prevalent, and my priorities are oddly skewed as I am more upset about my fingernail breaking than the failure of my marriage. I wasn’t expecting to break a nail although I suppose I should have been. Humor is not lost on me though which I guess is a good thing. My parents have been married 52 years and I’m still not sure I understand why, but in a surprisingly charming moment, my father brought my mother her present. He was so proud of himself, he picked it out, he wrapped it (very poorly, but lovingly); he was chomping at the bit to give it to her. After it turned midnight and he noticed we were still awake he came out in his underwear (as is customary) with a cleverly disguised package and the Alabama Crimson Tide fight song playing. I joked that he was all class coming out in his underwear to which he quipped he would have come out commando, but since I was in town, he put his “drawers” on. Thank God for small favors! Then I snarked back, we all know he has a problem keeping his “drawers” on, thus he and mom have the 8 of us. My parents really are hysterical. They mean well, but they are just off the hook.

It was girl’s night out and my mom, my sister, my niece and I all went to the Montgomery Biscuits game. My brother gave me the tickets and I thought it would be fun to go plus it is my sister’s birthday on Tuesday. All I wanted was a little liquor, girl liquor too, like a pina colada, but all they had was beer and bad strawberry daquiris. The recovering alcoholic in me is relieved, but what the hell kinda girl’s night out is it without fru fru drinks? Besides, I probably would have skipped the $6 ounce and a quarter pour anyway all though my sister was buzzing from it. To each his own. I’m all virgin, can’t you tell. BTW I am not loosing my oceanic virginity anytime soon thanks to the onset of Katrina, but my niece did offer to hook me up to a pool where I can go skinny dipping and it will be WAY cooler than whatever Taine did back in the stone age! Tomorrow night there are fireworks after the game. If the hurricane is not that bad here, I am gonna take my tickets and go back, liquor or not!

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