Fulfilling Destiny

Truly amazing news…I finished a project!!! That’s right, you heard me, for the first time since I made a latch hook duck in the 6th grade, I completed a craft project. Ok, I did make some handmade angel party favors for my parents’ 5oth wedding anniversary party, but other than that, I am pretty lacking in crafty talents. But, on Thursday, I actually finished a blanket. Technically, I started it in September. At first I was really confident; after all Emily’s little sister could do it, but then my mother convinced me it was all an elaborate math problem. I was intimidated and scared to fuck it up, so I set it aside and gave up. Then last week, I said to myself, “screw it, so what if it looks like crap, at least you can use it”. For the record, I used absolutely no math to complete it, unless you count a loosely followed ruler as a guide, but it turned out great. I love it and it is super warm.

Now to grant my Valentine a wish from last week… What the hell is up with stores these days? When I first moved here, you couldn’t even find a grocery store open past 10pm. They actually have a law in my old town preventing businesses from being open 24 hours. Seriously, we couldn’t have a Denny’s because it might draw out the criminal element or give drunk people and teenagers a place to congregate. To skirt the law, 24 hour establishments opened up on the border of Lakewood and Cleveland. You should have seen all the boring people dining in peace at 2am. The only crimes going down at that restaurant were fashion related or possibly regrettable food choices given the hour. Yet it took years for the grocery stores to catch on. Even today only a select few even claim to be open 24 hours. The problem you face is exactly which 24 hours they are referring to. You see our “24 hour” grocery store closes at 10pm on Sunday and opens up again at 7 am Monday. Really, cause last time I checked, that doesn’t constitute 24 hours. For the love of God, we don’t even have a Super Wal-mart. We get commercials for the closest one; it is over an hour away! Wal-mart considered opening a Supercenter here, but the mayor and the esteemed Dennis Kucinich managed to kill the deal to protect a corner grocery store no one in their right mind would quit shopping at just to go to an annoying Wal-mart.

The lack of stores and restaurants open round the clock may be a pain in my ass but the latest shopping trend actually goes on to insult my intelligence. Even a two year old should be able to define the notion of a “one day sale”. Apparently the brilliant minds behind current department store advertisements can’t grasp the concept. The biggest offenders seem to be under the May company umbrella, but I have seen ads for most big chains using some derivation of the concept. The ads all instruct you to hurry in and take advantage of this one day only chance to save. The problem is the sale lasts almost always some combination of the following: Friday and Saturday, Thursday through Sunday, all weekend, sneak preview Wednesday and Thursday sale starts Friday, etcetera etcetera. When last I looked at a calendar, none of those options constituted ONE DAY!!! Why is it necessary to incorrectly categorize it as a one day sale? Why can’t it just be a sale, a big sale, a giant sale, a weekend sale, the greatest sale in the history of all sales sale? I am sick and tired of being marketed to like I am a mindless lab rat. I do speak English, I can grasp concepts, I know how to count (even as high as 24) and most importantly, I know the days of the week and how many hours they are comprised of.

Lastly, I have to give a shout out to the phenomenal Grey’s Anatomy. Last night’s episode rocked. My only complaint, well two really, was they killed Kyle Chandler and rather stupidly I might add, and McDreamy never got naked, not even once!!! I love him; he is wicked hot. How the hell did Matthew McConaughey beat him for sexiest man alive? And how much do I love George? He is like the best friend ever!!! He has got to get some love, post haste. At least Bailey has a soft spot for him, too. Awesome, awesome show, but please Shodra give us more naked Derek! Oh, and be sure and get the season 1 DVD it is on sale this week for as low as $16.99. Seriously!

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