Cursed Missed Opportunities

Ok, it is my turn to be cryptic and for the record, this post rocked both in my head at church and in line at Target. Have you ever been in the know on both sides of an awkward situation? I’m talking real life, not television here folks. Of course you already know your own side of what made the moment weird, but then something happens and you find out the other side. This has happened to me on several occasions with the same person but in regards to different events. It is amazing we are still friends. I am not sure we still would be except we know so much about each other’s lives. In all of these situations I consider unfortunate, there is an air a regret surrounding them. I for one am truly glad none of these alleged moments progressed forward anywhere other than inside the mind of a slightly demented friend. I have the feeling I would have frozen in place and simply died as a result of the transgression. In fact, not to be cruel but I actually cringe just thinking about it, and honestly it makes me want to throw up a little. I just could never even imagine going there and I am surprised we are not on the same page about this. I am not sure how to make this any clearer and for those who have deciphered my code any more cryptic. I would have died literally and figurative if any of these supposed opportunities had come to fruition. Friendship over, funeral commencing. Please don’t think of me as the one that got away. I am the one who simply never ever could be.

Now that I have gotten that off my chest… Apparently it is not just local access channels, but Univision and the Spanish equivalent of the Jerry Springer Show also merit a peek from my television loving eyes. I am trying people! Yesterday, my husband called me lazy. I guess I can’t dispute the charge especially considering I have long insisted he is not romantic. He ardently maintains he is, but I conclude if you are perceived as not being romantic by definition you are not romantic. Therefore I suppose if I require him to follow that logic, I must also be lazy because I am perceived as such. It doesn’t seem quite fair though. The argument seemed so much more relevant when we weren’t talking about me. At any rate, it hurt my feelings, and I am surprised. I have long thought of myself as lazy though I don’t feel lazy. I seem to constantly be busy doing something. Perhaps they are just the wrong things or at the very least not the most important things. Suddenly I was jarred by the nagging voice in my head. The one that reminds me several of my family members consider me a joke and revel in my failures. I have never understood why although perhaps it is own fault, a curse I put on myself. I do say some really stupid things and often at all the wrong times, I did dye my hair blonde and deny my intelligence for a while. But it hurt, almost as bad as when I was presented with a t-shirt referring to me as a “dumb blonde”. I guess I knew I was perceived that way, but until you see it in writing it is not the same. Until your best friend calls you lazy, I guess somehow it isn’t true. All of the sudden the voice in my head said “he thinks you are a joke too” and it felt like a knife in my heart. I am sure it was nothing, but the voice in my head often betrays me, it convinces me I have no one, and it becomes harder and harder to fight. Sorry, I just realized I am seriously bringing down this post and it is no longer “rockin’ like Dokken” as it was in my head. Alas for the record, it is sunny today, I have no female issues, and I am not pregnant, so no excuses for my melancholy. Sometimes I just don’t know where my mind goes. So skip ahead Reverend…

After watching Nightly News last night (which is apparently several weeks behind cbs.com and the Christian Science Monitor), I have to touch on the so-called Peach war going on between my redneck brethren in Alabama and Georgia. Apparently some bored member of state legislature in this case, Jimmy Martin, (D-Chilton Co.) decided to introduce legislation to designate the peach as the state fruit of Alabama. Then he did a little good faith redneck ribbing of Georgia peaches and their taste and color claiming Chilton Co peaches look and taste better and that Alabama farmers often ship some of their delicious crop to Georgia. Not to be outdone Georgia farmers fired back saying they have the best peaches and they are tastier and juicier. Well my, my boys it seems as if South Carolina out produces you both and California provides most of the country with peaches. But truth be told, I love peaches and I have enjoyed them from farms all over this great land even those grown here in northeastern Ohio, but none have ever tasted as sweet and juicy and delicious as those I purchased on a mountain top in Virginia. They made my trip to Monticello even more memorable, and I have actually considered driving all the way back to that mountain for just one more taste. I have been to Chilton County and I have tasted hundreds of peaches but none will ever beat those sweet Virginia nectars. So have your war. You can both consider yourself the peach state if it makes you feel better. The rest of America cares little about your nickname or your state fruit, we just want good peaches. So call it what you will and pony up. The truth is the pudding, let the tasters decide. And while you are arguing, I distinctly heard a motion from a representative (in this case a journalist from the Montgomery Advertiser) to have the state nut officially changed from the pecan to Jimmy Martin. All in favor…

Since I am on agricultural wars, I have to address a local tiff being played out in Amish country. This poor guy with 10 kids and farm to keep up who was just minding his own business trying to feed his family was tricked by a seemingly well meaning uncover officer from the department of agriculture. You see this fellow sells milk, raw milk to those who come to his farm and ask for it. He accepted 2 dollars as a donation in return for the milk. The problem, he took that donation from the undercover officer. Now I see why he can’t sell his milk at a local grocery store under the guise of federally regulated milk, but why can’t he sell it as is to those who choose to drink it that way? If you go to a farm and get fresh milk I would think it is pretty clear it has not been pasteurized. So be it. People in Amish county drink from wells and eat fresh eggs as well, there is nothing wrong with that. I think it is complete bullshit they tricked this man then took away his milk license. Who cares? Leave him and his neighbors alone! Get a life and start inspecting grocery stores selling outdated meat and dairy products. I have actually seen yogurt that was a month past its sell by date in my local store. Where are the inspectors then? Harassing the Amish apparently. “Free Willy” or something, we need a battle cry! Stop picking the Amish is too wordy and sounds lame. Well, I will think of something. Until then…Cheers! Oh, and don’t forget Veronica tonight!!!

5 Responses to “Cursed Missed Opportunities”

  1. Weezie Says:

    Holy crap, I think I know what you are talking about…

    Meanwhile, a suggestion for your TV problem: EWTN is my “default channel”. Every night before I turn off the TV, I put it on EWTN, then the next time I turn on the TV, there’s something worthwhile on TV that I just might accidentally get sucked into, rather than some other nonsense. It’s my background noise, which catches my attention, but that’s good, you know? This way, if you want background noise or something, you are watching something that will feed your faith, is worthwhile, and still accomplishes the goal of not watching the usual daytime TV. Just a suggestion…

    I hate peaches–I think it’s a texture thing, but Gosh! They smell good!

  2. Aimee Says:

    If you know who I am talking about then why haven’t you e-mailed me to discuss.

    As for EWTN that is a good suggestion. I did try it today, but I really don’t get sucked in other than visually anyway because I do have the TV set to Mute.

    Hate peaches? Say what??? How can anyone hate peaches? You are right, I love the smell, but I also love them peeled and diced with a little sugar on top to bring out the flavor. They are also excellent over ice cream. Perhaps you have tried them canned or gotten stringy peaches or ate them like apples or accidentally got the ones with white flesh, those are the only reasons I can think of to dislike them. Maybe one day you can try them my way, when they are in season of course. I won’t make you, but you really should, they are delicious!!! Taine was really confused by your texture objection. He said he could understand objecting to okra on the basis of texture, but not peaches. If you happened to watch According to Jim the other day, you could try them the way Cheryl enjoyed them; peeled and diced into tiny pieces and eaten on a toothpick so the juice didn’t get on her face.

  3. Aimee Says:

    Wait, what about strawberries? Please tell me you don’t have a textural (?) objection to those.

  4. Weezie Says:

    “Teach your children well…” I laughed SO HARD!

    Yeah, I don’t like strawberries either. I can only eat them with that delicious chocolate shell around them, and even then, I’ll eat like, one. Sorry…

    If I hadn’t been so lazy, I totally would have called you last night! Especially at the end of Earl…I was screaming and then realized at that very moment all the way in Ohio, someone else was screaming too!

  5. Aimee Says:

    Chocolate covered strawberries are the best. Taine is the only person I know who doesn’t like them. He loves chocolate and strawberries, just not touching. Once my mom got the chocolate covered strawberries in a bag, but the strawberries in those are dried. They are disgusting. All of the sudden I heard Randy’s voice in my head as I was typing that sentence. Childlike innocence…hilarious! You should have called. I was lovin’ it.

Leave a Reply