Keeping You Informed

You know I post this stuff as an open book to keep all my friends and family (and I guess a few random voyeurs as well) informed of what I am doing. Yet almost daily someone e-mails me and wants to know what I am up to. Don’t get me wrong, I love you guys and I appreciate your e-mails, but I am really not that interesting. This is what I am up to.

Don’t you hate when you are driving around and you think of the perfect post, an incredibly witty comeback, the world’s greatest song, the poem to end all poems, the movie idea of the century, the cure for cancer, and then you get home and you can’t remember a damn thing about it. This happens to me all of the time, but at incredibly inappropriate and inconvenient times. You know like at church, while I am driving, in the shower, on the phone, just about to fall asleep, while other people are talking to me, at 3 am basically every random moment you can think of. Try as I might, I can never recreate the magic that was once in my head. Take today for example. I started this great post in my head, but I forced myself to stop and wait until I got in front of the computer. Now all I have is a lame punchline and a bunch of ramblings. I give up; I surrender to my subconscious which by the way bestowed on me an incredible dream the other night. It was sexy and amazing, free of James or any other old school mates (well, maybe 1 but I dumped him), took place in New York at Christmastime and is utterly unrecreatable. I know that isn’t even a word, but I tried to dream it again and there’s just no magic in the second time around. Alas even my dreams about Logan have become commonplace and boring. Which can only mean one thing, we need some new Veronica Mars post haste.

I discovered something about myself this morning. I am the saddest television addict in the world. Some of you may know I gave up daytime TV as part of my Lenten sacrifice. At first it was going to be just soap operas, but then I decided to really bite the bullet and do what someone on another message board had done a few years ago. She gave up all TV until 6pm. I thought, hey I can do that. The only thing I didn’t give up is exercise videos. Technically, you watch them on TV, but I can’t fulfill my Lenten promise to lose weight without them. Don’t judge me. Anyway, the TV in our room acts up on channel 3, so yesterday I had to do my entire workout with out the picture. Today I decided to turn on the local access channel for Cleveland Hts and mute it while I got dressed to allow the TV more time to warm up. Do you know I actually caught myself peeking? For heaven sake it is a site filled with lame community announcements. I have a problem. Ok, that is not the worst of it. After I finished my workout, the tape was rewinding and I forgot to shut the TV off before I hit stop. Take a guess at what was on. I will give you a hint: the star of my all time favorite movie; my Achilles’ heel…..Give up? Then you don’t know me that well. It was Macaulay Culkin. Cosmic timing, heaven’s reward, the devil’s temptation? I’m not sure, but I caved. I tried to busy myself about the room and just listen as if it were on radio even though I know it was a moment of weakness. To make matters worse, he was on The View. A show I have only seen once in the waiting room of the Toyota dealership and vowed never to have to sit through again. Each stupid question they asked him had me more intrigued. He really handled himself well, especially when they started asking him about Michael Jackson like he is supposed to know what went wrong there. I know we are all curious, but just because Mac talks to him a couple of times a year it doesn’t mean he can answer a question no one, even Michael seems to be able to understand. Anyway, he was polite and simply told him he wasn’t Michael Jackson’s ambassador; he does think some of his choices are bizarre and unfortunate, but it is not up to him to decide. He also reiterated that he was not molested by Michael and testified on his behalf because he doesn’t think Michael molested the boys in question. He also indicated he felt the accusing family was dangerous and Michael was a fool not to pick up on that and should never have let them in his life so personally. Perhaps the ladies of The View should have scheduled the interview with Michael Jackson’s publicist instead of ganging up on Mac when he was there to promote his non-MJ related book. At any rate, I wish Mac would get more interviews, more movies and more press that doesn’t focus on his childhood or his friends and family, but a girl can’t have everything she wants I suppose.

Lastly, I have to mention something truly sinister that baffles me. Locally there is a man charged with raping and murdering his 7 month old niece. I am not even sure what that means or how one rapes an infant, but how sick do you have to be? What the hell is wrong with this guy? Allegedly. Now he has changed his story to indicate the infant stopped breathing while he was changing her diaper and he attempted to give her CPR. Unfortunately he didn’t know CPR on an infant is different than on an adult. Well, I am no doctor, but I have taken CPR classes and received certification, and I am pretty sure none of the techniques involves the vagina, so either he was or was not raping her. I don’t see the middle ground. Again I am not privy to all the facts in the case, but I can’t see the prosecutor alleging this type of horrible crime if there was not evidence of rape, so what the hell? Where is this story coming from and why are his sisters on the news every five minutes saying he is just bad at CPR? Um, hello….is this thing on? Your brother killed your niece under some pretty suspicious circumstances that are not entirely CPR related. Open your eyes and get this man some help.

Ok, breathe. That’s it for today. So until next time…Cheers!

One Response to “Keeping You Informed”

  1. Weezie Says:

    OK, seriously, I think that is the absolute most disgusting thing I have ever heard in my life.