For Women Only?

Oh please. You know, I am so sick of stupid products marketed to women. I want to be treated right and occasionally pampered, but I don’t give a rat’s ass if my toothpaste tastes like cinnamon and vanilla. Actually, I’d prefer if it didn’t. The geniuses at Proctor and Gamble have decided there aren’t enough health and beauty aids marketed to women, so they’ve chosen to market a toothpaste for women only. It claims to have rejuvenating properties to keep your teeth looking younger and healthier. As a special bonus, it comes in a shiny silver box. For god’s sake, why don’t they go all the way and put Alpha-Hydrox in there?

In our search for the fountain of youth, women have turned into complete morons, willing to buy any product promising to make us look younger. Personally, I just want fresh breath. If you can give me that, I’ll buy your product. I don’t need any post-menopausal, new age, I feel your pain kind of toothpaste. The makers of this new Crest product feel it will create a sense of urgency in women making them want to brush more often. There’s only two things that can give you a sense of urgency regarding brushing your teeth, and it isn’t cinnamon and vanilla flavoring; it’s seriously bad breath and the prospect of a date. Put whatever you want in there, use Botox for all I care, but it is time for us to face facts, no toothpaste can make up for dental neglect. Take care of your teeth and in most cases, they will take care of you. It all comes down to good oral hygiene, not who has the prettiest package.

4 Responses to “For Women Only?”

  1. michelle Says:

    i forwarded this info on to folks here that work on a different toothpaste brand asking them to retaliate with a men’s-only toothpaste that comes in a doody-brown box, flavored with hints of beer and slim jims …to resonate with men concerned with nothing.

  2. Artichoke Heart Says:

    You go, grrl! And why is it that it’s considered apropos to produce and market any type of moronic product to give us younger looking teeth(?!?!) or whatever, but there is no consideration whatsoever in terms of providing better women’s health care services? Health care is, more or less, after all, a consumer industry as well. Like I could give a shit about having girly toothpaste to buy, but why isn’t anybody spending that same amount of energy/research/resources to come up with better options/survival rates for, say, ovarian cancer?

  3. Raspil Says:

    Have you tried the oatmeal for women? Quaker makes one and I bet it tastes like folic acid and calcium. Now that’s good eatin’! And I didn’t know teeth had the ability to look “youger”. Some people will eat anything up with a spoon if it promises youth. I find that incredibly sad. Aging is not a disease but that is how it’s being portrayed. Oh well. You can’t fight science, but you sure can ignore it when it’s being marketed towards you.

  4. Liltruthie Says:

    Oooooh— you got me Raspil! I bought the oat’s for women. I tell you though, they’re tasty. Either way I must admit having given in to my own hypochondria. And there was some guilt involved; I knew what I was doing I was being a slave to marketing! God knows I should be savvy to that as I am in the industry of pulling that sort of crap on my fellow consumers.
    I simply want to be a healthy 30-something…. I haven’t had kids yet, and if I do I want to be folic and calcium aplenty….
    Though, if I don’t have kids what the hell does it matter? Maybe I should take up smoking instead?