Random Thoughts

The information, ideas, articles, and links provided herein do not represent official policies, procedures, or opinions of Auburn University or any of its operational units. Obviously…

So, Brandon calls this morning and leaves me a message where he’s all, “Good morning and W** E****…I have a bet with your aunt Aimee and when she loses and posts good things about Auburn, you cannot do anything, you cannot post a retort or anything like that because it’s a bet. So, you’ll have to behave yourself and take it like a grown up because those rednecks are going down. I’m sorry to have to break it to you like this…” BLAH BLAH BLAH

You know, I’m not even going to dignify such nonsense with a response. (Well, I did laugh–A LOT!) I’ll simply save that for later when I’m framing my own copy of Brandon’s “An Ode to The Alabama Crimson Tide and Brodie Croyle, the greatest quarterback in the SEC.” Maybe I’ll even present one to Fr. Dean as a gift, since I am such a kind, generous, and giving person. Good times…

So, Sheriff Lamb is actually human, eh? I’m glad we got some insight as to why he is the way he is. That whole episode was creepy: between the child abuse and Kendall Casablancas, OH! and don’t let me forget the ever-disturbing, Duncan Kane, I was totally freaked. I have not read Aimee’s spoiler/theory post and I’m not going to, but I do know that she’s right in that Duncan is totally creepsville and up to something.

Finally, you know that lip gloss we bought that was two for one–the one that was a pretty color and glittery? Well, how annoying is it that the color goes, but the glitter stays? I feel like I dipped my lips in glitter on the way out the door this morning and it totally makes my lips feel dry.

Oh! And this is from a couple posts back, but disinterested pre-teens on cell phones are funny.

Roll Tide! Brodie, darling, let’s get this done, OK?

Ok, maybe not THE devil, but still. Today I was on the phone with a friend of mine who was talking shit about the upcoming Alabama vs. Auburn game. This of course being the greatest rivalry in the SEC if not all of college football or at the very least the most eagerly awaited weekend in the state of Alabama. As we were talking, I casually mentioned Carol’s hilarious ribbing of Fr. Dean over his unfailing loyalty to the Auburn Tigers. We, of course, as Alabama fans can not let him get away with that. In the spirit of fairness, they have a little friendly wager going, and don’t even dream of thinking anything hateful. This is strictly an above board bet on lunch for the winner. I personally suggested she agree to this deal only if they could eat at Dreamland since that’s where any Auburn fan is living if they think they will beat Bama. This little trip out on a limb spawned a friendly wager of my own. My friend and dye (as in Pat Dye) hard Auburn fan, Brandon, goaded me into taking him (enormous ego included) on. After careful consideration, I mean Bama did get their asses handed to them (deservedly so) by LSU just last weekend, I decided to take his bet. So these are the terms: When Alabama wins the Iron Bowl this weekend, Brandon will compose a 500 word essay of love called “An Ode to The Alabama Crimson Tide and Brodie Croyle, the greatest quarterback in the SEC”. This little ditty will mention the phrase “Roll Tide” a minimum of 3 times and will be sent out to all of his Auburn loving friends and yes, even Fr. Dean but especially to Weezie and me. I will then promptly do a happy dance, post said ode here and frame it for my wall. It will go nicely next to my portrait of Bear Bryant. In the unlikely event I should lose this wager, I have agreed to post an equally lovey-dovey Auburn Ode, but I was not given any specific rules as to content, and I was also careful to maintain Carol’s right to post whatever retaliatory remarks she may desire. Though I can NOT ask her to post anything specific or to speak for both of us. Um, given that we share a brain, that one might be be tough! But I have confidence in confidence, so there!

On to other news, Jarrod was mentioned twice in the recap of last weekend’s game against Theodore. Check out the article here. This weekend they play at home against Opelika. I want to talk a lot of smack (a la Jim Rome) at this point, but in the interest of sportsmanship and knowing all of the trash talk will be over by Saturday, I’ll just say “Go Lions”!!!!

Sadly, I also have to report a former schoolmate and friend of mine was attacked and beaten at gunpoint. I have been told it was nothing more than southern ignorance, but it sickens me regardless of the cause. I am still amazed by how we treat one another. We only have one world, one place to live and raise our children. I don’t expect everyone to like each other. I don’t have any Peter Pan ideas about the world, but I have to say, I despise those who pick on the elderly, little children and unarmed people minding their own business. It is inexcuable and it pisses me off.

WARNING: Don’t read unless you really want to know. This is based on spoilers, pure speculation on my part and years of figuring out all or part of TV shows, meaning it is highly flawed and incomplete, but it just might be right. Hey, there is always a chance… Read the rest of this entry »

I have so much to talk about and it is so convoluted. Trust me, even Shakespeare couldn’t string these ideas together in a fluid composition, so bear with me as I catch up on the past week. I would love to say my social calendar was booked so solid I didn’t have time to post, but truth be told it was more a product of my incredible laziness.

First and foremost, the Prattville Lions won again and will head down to Theodore on Friday for the next round of the playoffs. Unfortunately I only caught the first couple of minutes of the game because the webcast on the “home of the Lions” WIQR abruptly switched to a playoff game featuring Autaugaville instead. I am sure the parents and fans of those guys were thrilled. I, on the otherhand, was shocked, disappointed and quite frankly pissed. I got over it and have put my anger behind me. At least I heard a few tidbits as the game started and caught a shout out to my nephew before the switch.

On to important stuff like TV. Everyone knows about my Veronica love and most people have heard me mention I am a big fan of Earl, but I want to give a quick shout out to another of my favorites, Grey’s Anatomy. If you haven’t watched it, I highly recommend it. The show is smart, witty and compelling and quite possibly the best drama on television right now. And, thanks to People magazine, you can even vote Patrick Dempsey as the Sexiest Man Alive. I could have told you that years ago! And yes Matty it is better than ER. In the comedy category obviously there is Earl, but I also suggest How I Met Your Mother. I love Barney! Neil Patrick Harris has me in tears every week. So if you haven’t watched it yet, “suit up” and check it out. And if you are so inclined, you can even find your perfect match among the cast, or better yet, check out Barney’s blog. I do have one small confession I have to make, ok make that two. Lean in close, I am going to whisper…The Office might not suck as hard as I thought it did last year. I have found myself laughing ever so hard at Dwight’s antics with Michael and I really like Pam and Jim. So, in summary, not the worst show ever as previously described. On to my second shameful whisper, I love Reunion and I will be devastated if they cancel it before I get to see the resolution. So all you Nielson households, do a girl a favor on Thursday night. Please?

Though I confess I had to Google both the “shocker” hand signal and the apparently obvious dirty inplications of the moniker T-bag (due to both making it past the network sensors and showing up in two of my favorite shows), I do not reside under a rock and I do actually have friends even if one of them calls me only to tell me inappropriate sexual information that gives new meaning to the phrase TMI. He is convinced my odd dreams of late are not the result of poor dietary habits or a strange and overactive imagination but rather pent up sexual frustration. Before you scream TMI on my part, I am not buying his theory. In part because I have had “weird dreams” since well before I knew what sex was, but mostly because he can turn anything and by anything, I mean absolutely anything into a dirty sexual innuendo. Am I right, Weezie? And no Matt I am not talking about you regardless of the rather enlightening conversation we had about Krispy Kreme doughnuts at lunch today. While I am on the subject of friends, I would like to take this opportunity to call out my alleged friend John Jeffrey Soroka. That’s right you heard me Jeff, so if you are googling yourself or find your way back here, you owe me a rather lengthy e-mail which was due last April, and I mean to collect. HAHA No, seriously, e-mail me.

Before this turns into the world’s longest post about nothing, I should probably flash myself the “wrap up” sign or at least start swelling the music at inopportune moments like they do at the Oscars, but I do have one last tidbit left over from my Halloween post. And yes, I did go out and buy myself lots of discounted candy like my fat ass needed it. Anyway, my favorite trick or treater award for this year goes to…..drumroll please…..Disinterested pre-teen on cell phone! Congratulations you just won…tell her what she won Rod…well for this year’s winner we have, oh wait, what’s that, she just walked away and didn’t even collect any candy. She only came along to accompany her lame friends. Damn and here’s me fresh out of orange and lemon flavored Tootsie Rolls. Too bad I wasted them on all the other lame ass teenagers and parents at my front door. By the way, this year’s second place winner goes to…oh hell, skip the drum roll no one cares…Too cool to bring a bag…cue Rod…That’s right, he went door to door with nothing but the clothes on his back and two outstretched fists. Clearly he had made the wise decision to eat as you go…And me without my poison apples. Ah well, there’s always next year.

Last but certainly not least, I want to take a moment in all seriousness to offer my condolences to Carol and her family. Carol’s namesake, Aunt Louise, who I actually think is her dad’s great aunt, but who’s counting, died over the weekend. She was a beautiful lady and though I had not seen her in years, I always thought of her fondly. I know Carol will miss her greatly. There is a service for her tomorrow and I would tell you where, but I am trying very hard to be serious and somber, so I will refrain. But please keep Weezie, her family, and especially Aunt Weezie in your prayers.

Eternal rest grant to them, O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine upon them.
May the souls of the faithful departed,
through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

OK, a couple of things: first of all, I hate repeats–unless, of course, I missed the episode the first time around. But, that doesn’t apply to Veronica Mars b/c I don’t miss it. I’m experiencing withdrawal symptoms…but I totally watched the rerun anyway! I’m such a dork and I know it. And, did you ever notice how when they do show repeats of a show, they never repeat the episode you missed?! I wonder why it is that I can watch a show one time, like, ever and then the next time I’m bored or something and turn that show on again, it’s the same episode! What is the deal with that? I think I’ve seen the same episode of Everybody Loves Raymond at least 4 times!
Secondly, I went home for lunch today and was flipping between an old episode of Another World on SoapNet–I have to come clean: I totally TIVO it every day!–and Days of Our Lives. Can I just say how bothered I am by how creepy “Dr. North” is? It’s like, Roman Brady isn’t supposed to be creepy! I can only watch a few seconds of Days at a time b/c it irritates me. Is Carrie really coming back?
Meanwhile, I’m totally getting sick. I woke up yesterday, out of the blue, with a scratchy throat and coughing my head off. I can’t wait to get off work and go crawl in bed! I have entirely too much to do to be sick right now!

Well, it is Halloween again, and I have stocked up on entirely too much candy after having run out last year. I severely underestimated the amount of people trick-or-treating in our new neighborhood, but I am more than sufficiently armed for this year’s batch of kiddies. No more handing out pop tarts, quarters, IOU’s and pecan spinwheels. I even considered taking a lesson from my beloved Jim Rome and doling out cough drops to satisfy the large mobs of children young and old at my door last year. Good weather really brings em out I guess. This year, it will be all candy all evening, unless of course I eat it all this afternoon.

One thing that bothers me. Is it parents with their own bags, 18 year olds in costume hitting my house multiple times, van loads of kids being dropped off at my doorstep? No. Well, ok maybe a little, but mostly it is that smug hateful look parents give you when they pimp their 6 month old out for candy and you give the kid raisins or a dum-dum pop because that is the only thing that kid has a snowballs chance in hell of eating. Then they want to cop an attitude or look down on me? What the crap? I realize if you have several small children at home you are going to have to bring them all out and the kids all want their own bag, so I have no problem with small trick-or-treaters. Similarly, I understand when you have your first child you are excited about the prospect of dressing it up and taking it out to show off. No problem here. But when you cross over into pathetic, ungrateful territory because you don’t like raisins and your kid can’t eat candy, it is simply time to get off my porch.

Last year when I started running low on candy I went and got some wrapped items from my pantry including full size packs of my favorite gum. I also had money and anything else I could find on hand because I had not antisipated the van loads of children who would be driving up into my neighborhood. Anyway, for the extremely small trick-or-treaters, I started passing out raisins, by extremely small I mean 2 and under. This man who parked in front of my driveway came back to my house and returned the raisins out of his daughter’s bag saying he didn’t eat raisins. I said, funny they weren’t for you, they were for your daughter. To which he informed me that at 18 months old, she was too young for any of the treats in her bag. And I guess since he had returned the raisins he might have been right. At any rate, I still love Halloween and especially the looks of joy on the children’s face when they see their favorite candy or cash being thrown into their bags. Which reminds me when did kids start going door to door with Hefty bags? Whatever happened to good old plastic jack-o-lanterns? This year I am hoping people remember the fun and excitement of Halloween and free candy, but if you are an ungrateful adult, here is a thought. Get a job, and then you can afford to go out and buy yourself a bag of your favorite candy, sit down in front of the TV and eat the whole bag by yourself whilst staying far away from me. A special tip: stores, especially Target, mark all of their Halloween candy at least 50% off tomorrow, so you can save me the trouble and get twice as much bang for your buck if you simply stay home tonight and stuff your ungrateful face into oblivion tomorrow.

Ok, I know I am weird, there is no question about it, but beyond my natural quirkiness lies my truly bizarre dream world. Last night I had another of my famously weird dreams; I just have to share…if I can stop sneezing long enough…

From the point I start to remember, I am on some sort of a small tour. There are perhaps a van load of us, no more, and we arrive at a working farm. We are greeted by the owner and seven children the oldest of which are a teenaged boy and girl, the youngest a boy about six years old. They have come out to do some storytelling and interaction with us and even have small skits with costumes to engage our group. I however am baffled by the owner who was a classmate of mine in high school. He still looks as handsome as he did when he was 18 (admittedly he was not that cute but the pickins were slim at the time and I have seen him recently, the years have not been kind). Anyway I can’t take my eyes off him because I can’t believe he lives on a farm with 7 kids no less (trust me, this guy was not exactly what I would call farm material, Abercrombie model maybe, but farmer, notsomuch). As I stare at him, different members of my group are costumed and incorporated into the “family” to act out a scene and then return to their place. Suddenly, I am swept up by the teenage girl who throws some sort of crenoline nightgown over my head and says she waited to choose me because this costume wouldn’t make me look fat (I like her already). As I pull it down over my head and prepare to act out my part of the scene, everyone vanishes and my tour group is just looking at me as if I am an idiot. I guess in all the fuss I missed my instructions, so I go into the house to find the children. I can hear no one. I am afraid to go up stairs and look for them as no one else in my group has been inside the house and I don’t want to appear nosy or rude. After a few minutes, I decide to screw formality and snoop. I head up the elaborate staircase paved with painted spanish tiles like you see inside a fancy fishpond or swimming pool. I happen upon the master bedroom which has a loft above it for the bathroom. I hurry up the stairs and see the most incredible sunken tub made out o the same tiles that line the staircase. All of the sudden I have a flashback, a memory from high school. I have been here; this is his grandmother’s farm. He had brought our class here. It just seemed different because it is so unassuming on the outside. Feeling as if I have intruded on a memory I rush back down the stairs. The children and my friend are waiting for me, laughing that I could not find them. They were hiding cleverly in the nursery (there must be another staircase somewhere cause I didn’t pass anything remotly nursery like). Out of no where, I take my friend’s hand and offer to help him run the place. After a slight hesitation on his part (thinking rightly, of course, I am a city girl), he agrees. The children rejoice and I (somehow now wearing a perfectly fitted yet completly matronly Little House on the Prairie outfit) take them upstairs to get cleaned up for dinner. Apparently we all live happily ever after at the orphanage/weird farm tourist attraction.

I have no idea what I was smoking, but I really should figure it out because I could make some serious cash selling it. And not to totally ruin the randomness of the moment, but I was thinking about a particualr name and its many derivations last night before I went to sleep. Although I wasn’t thinking about this person at all, he is the only person I have ever actually known (well anyway) with that name, so I guess that is where he came from. As for the rest of the dream and its meaning your guess is as good a mine. Perhaps it was the pot roast talking.

The Prattville Lions ended their regular season play at home tonight with a 42-0 win over Central-Tuscaloosa to finish the season at 9-0 making this their 3rd straight undefeated season. Congratulations and Go Lions!

A big thank you goes to Gabrielle for photographing all of the action for me. From what I hear, she takes after me and has done a great job taking lots of pictures. I am sure she will continue to do a great job during the playoffs which by the way start next week at Stanley-Jensen Stadium. Go out and support your Prattville Lions!

Ok first of all, this fingernail biting thing has to go. It seriously breaks my concentration. Second, in defense of my cheap gas, I am stuck living in Cleveland. I would trade higher gas for sunny and warm any day. If you had both, I would never see Taine again. Speaking of which, I am home and missing Senior night at the football game. It is the last regular season game of the year and I suppose the pinnacle of Jarrod’s football experience thusfar. So why a I here and not there? Good question. It is a terrible thing to be torn between the love of your life and well, the love of your life. Most people seem to think the choice is easy or if I had children of my own it would matter less, but I have serious trouble believing I could ever love anyone more, perhaps equally but more is doubtful. So here I am feeling more and more guilty by the minute and questioning my decision with every passing second. Taine says I am harder on myself than Jarrod ever would be, but you don’t see the way he looks at me. It is like I left him yesterday. Maybe it is my own guilt talking. I certainly know his life doesn’t revolve around me and it shouldn’t, nor should mine really, but I just enjoying being a part of his life. Gabrielle is taking pictures of the game for me and I can still listen to it on the radio over the internet, so even when I am not there, I am in spirit. Anyone want to buy Rob Thomas tickets? I can not miss the semi-finals!!!

On a funnier note and at the risk of seriously dating myself, does anyone remember the scene in Police Academy (shoot me I don’t remember which one precisely) when the old lady says “Officer can you get my kitty out of the tree” and he says, “No problem ma’am” unholsters his gun, points skyward and fires…cue falling dead cat and a disgusted look from the old lady? Perhaps it is cruel of me, but this scene immediately came to mind when I saw Terri’s neighbor had posted a sign which read: Solid Grey Kitty Kidnapped Last Weekend Large Reward$ {phone number omitted}Kidnapper-leave unsigned note where you dropped her {bad marker drawing of said cat} “Trianna” named after Trinity {bad drawing of cross with sunshine rays eminating forth} Felony charge to hurt someone’s pet. From what I can tell, someone really needs to start taking her meds again and hire Veronica Mars for that matter.

I am making a pot roast for dinner tonight, how very Betty Crocker of me if I do say so myself. For lunch, I met up with Shannon. We had a nice talk and a nice time catching up, now that I finally stayed in town for a few days. Still haven’t heard back from Matt, but I did run into a couple of other favorites while at PHS. In fact my longtime friend and religious mentor Jim and I are having lunch together next week to catch up as well. We all have to best intentions of keeping in touch, but then life somehow intervenes. You know what they say about the best laid plans of Mice and Men. Creepy book by the way. I hated it. For know I am listening to the VM soundtrack and working on J’s secret scrapbook which is awesome by the way. I rock. Anyway, that is it for today, but I will leave you with GO LIONS GO!!!!

As evidenced by many online chat rooms and message boards and even this week’s issue of TV Guide, I am not the only one who thinks Duncan is incredibly boring and Veronica should dump him in favor of Logan. I realize it is not sweeps yet and the whole LoVe thing snuck up on us last year, but seriously, how long must we suffer through the most boring man on earth? Where’s Leo? Him, I could tolerate. Hell I’d even take a new Troy, he was evil, but at least he wasn’t a snoozefest. He was BFF with the weirdo but still. If we must continue to watch Veronica fawn all over her fairy prince, please, oh pretty please Rob Thomas, do something to make him interesting!!!!!

BTW When I read the sides for last night’s episode, it was implied Duncan was the one who outed her to the psychic and I thought it was really funny, as it played out last night it came across mean and hateful.

Oh well, I had a few other things to write about, but Taine just walked in. I will have to catch up more tomorrow. In good news, I got gas for $2.14 a gallon today!